Eine kleine Textaufgabe.

Das ist Klaus. Er lebt in einem kleinen deutschen Dorf, und leitet dort
eine Bürgerwehr (weil die Gegend ja so gefährlich ist). Nebenbei
sammelt er Waffen und fährt gern Traktor - mit Rapsöl. Außerdem
vermöbelt er immer wieder mal Leute aus dem Dorf und nimmt ihnen
ihr Zeug weg, deswegen sind viele sauer auf Klaus.

Und das ist Peter. Er hat mal Waffen gesammelt und gern mit Klaus
darüber geplaudert. Klaus hat ihm sogar immer wieder mal welche
geschenkt, weil's ihm so viel Spaß gemacht hat wenn Peter seine
Nachbarn damit erschreckt. Peter hat ein großes Rapsfeld - das größte
in der Region. Er ist sehr Stolz darauf. Das zweitgrößte hat sein Nachbar.

Irgendwann wurde es Peter aber langweilig. Darauf schlug er seine
Mitbewohner, und seinen Nachbarn und nahm dem sein Rapsfeld ab.

Dann kam Klaus mit seiner Bürgerwehr, haute Peter auf die Nase, nahm
ihm seine Waffen ab und steckte ihn in den Knast. Jetzt ist Peter aber
auf Bewährung raus und darf keine Waffen mehr sammeln.

Klaus hat frisch von Olaf eine auf die Nase bekommen, und weil er
sich geärgert hat und Olaf nicht zu fassen bekommen hat, hat er statt
dessen Olafs Frau vermöbelt. Jetzt sagt er, Olaf und Peter machten
gemeinsame Sache, und will deswegen Peter schlagen, weil dieser wieder
Waffen sammle.

Nun waren seine Freunde schon bei Peter, haben überall gesucht, und nix
gefunden. Klaus meint aber, daß Peter beweisen muß daß er nichts habe,
sonst müsse er ihm eine auf die Fresse hauen und seine Freunde müßten
ihm dabei helfen (wegen der Sicherheit). Es wird aber gemunkelt, daß
Klaus eher auf das Rapsfeld von Peter scharf ist - er würde gern wieder
Traktorfahren, das wird ihm bloß auf Dauer zu teuer.

Achja - dann gibt es da noch Fritz. Fritz war früher selber mal ein
großer Schläger, und hat dafür lange büßen müssen - ist jetzt aber
schon lange draußen (auf Bewährung - er darf nie wieder jemanden
zusammenschlagen) - und ist ein Freund von Klaus. Er - und die meisten
anderen Freunde von Klaus - wollen Peter lieber weiter im Auge behalten.
Klaus redet aber immer wieder auf sie ein, daß sie mit ihm Peter
vermöbeln gehen - wegen der Sicherheit.

Und nun die Fragen:
1. An die Juristen
a) Gegen wie viele Paragraphen des geltenden Rechts verstößt Klaus?
b) Gegen welche?

"I'm Losing My Patience With My Neighbors, Mr. Bush"

By TERRY JONES

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq:
he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.

Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.

I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.

As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know--from very good sources--that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one
by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll
come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly
murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the
peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult.

Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one
certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.

Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction--even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'.

It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all
terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a
terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists?
These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist?
Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism.

Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims? It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr
Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who--quite frankly--look at me in odd ways. Noone will be really safe until I've wiped them all out.

My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks--no, 10 days--to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.